Monday, March 28, 2005

The Recipe for Stacy Without an E

What follows is the only known recipe for Stacy Without an E:
  • 8 cups of the geekiest stalk of dork you can find.
  • 4 cups of saturated creative genius.
  • 2 cups of self-loathing.
  • 2 more cups of self-loathing.
  • 1 heaping cup of thick, syrupy sarcasm.
  • 1 strained cup of sense of humor.
  • 1 spilled cup of adoration for women.
  • 2 quick tablespoons of loneliness.
  • 2 packed tablespoons of regret.
  • 1 nauseating tablespoon of sour hospital memories.
  • 2 liberal teaspoons of loyalty.

Toss ingredients into one damaged bowl of life. Mix well with blender, but do so inconsistently. Serve lukewarm, and only occasionally.

Leftovers should be frozen and used as window caulking.

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