Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Catheter Eve: The Sequel

I'm feeling rather dejavuish all over. It's kinda sticky with a rather foul aroma. And my belly is beginning to hurt just thinking about how unpleasant the whole previous experience was.

The fact that he screwed it up the first time I allowed him to slice up my abdomen isn't making this any easier.

So here I go again, dressed in the best looking suit of faith you've ever seen.

Actually, I'll be honest. It's kinda worn and faded in color.

But at least it's all still in one piece.

Let us travel back in time fellow bloggers to a time when the space to the right of my navel was unscathed...

Oh, what a beautiful time that was! When I would take a shower, I would look down and only see two scars on my belly from previous kidney transplants, not three. And there wasn't a two foot long tube of plastic stretching from my lower abdomen to my left knee.

Gas prices were lower! Rainstorms were plentiful! The Final Four hadn't blemished our TV screens!

It was a glorious time in my life and I squandered it with DVD's and ogling beautiful women.

What a foolish young child I was then, when my belly was bi-scarred.

Now I'm like a poor puppy with a short leash, being led around by my lack of physical health.


For the past seven days I was dead set against doing this again. If they were going in, they were going to do so to remove this ridiculous thing. But the benefits will be overwhelming, if they can just come true.

My Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights will be mine again. My arm will begin to heal from all the needle marks.

And best of all, my soul will start to slowly resemble the Old School Stacy Without an E.

Gee, I miss him.

He was funny, quick-witted and easily prone to the Stacy Laugh.

He was likable, easy-going and people actually like being around him.

I hope he returns, because we have some well-earned catching up to do.

1 comment:

  1. *keeping my fingers crossed for you* Now watch, that asshole surgeon is going to make a liar out of me when I told you this procedure would be easier than the last. Egads, I hope not. You're going to do great, and because of it you'll earn a ticket out of the off-color sitcom that is our hemo-dialysis unit.And for the gagillionth time, many of us already like being around you. So there... *sticks my tongue out at you*