Tuesday, December 06, 2005

How Do You Measure a Year?

This is one of those wacky question-answer dealeys that get passed around the internet like bad gas, but it's popular with the kids today, so I thought I would go ahead and take a look back at the Stacy Without an E Year in Review.

Please hold your applause until all the questions have been answered.

1) Was 2005 a good year for you?

2005 was a real Chex Mix bag. Some pieces were tasty and crunchy (like the drunken night at the hot tub) and others were bland and tasteless (translation: anything having to do with Dialysis). Overall, as the year comes to a close, I find myself with more days that I can classify as "good" rather than "can you hang yourself with dental floss?"

2) What was your favorite moment of the year?

That's easy, meeting my nephew for the first time. I was only in Tucson with my sister and her husband for three days and every moment with Nakai was memorable and inspiring. My sister looked great and it was good to spend some time with my brother-in-law.

3) What was your least favorite moment of the year?

When I broke down at Dialysis and had to put my blanket over my head because I was so ashamed and humiliated. My psyche just couldn't take the intense burning any longer and I cracked. This was around the same time I had my nervous breakdown and almost got fired.

4) Where were you when 2005 began?

Alone and miserable because I spent Christmas alone and miserable.

5) Who were you with?

My demons. Their names are Herbie and Lester and they love canned ham.

6) Where will you be when 2005 ends?

I don't know, but I'm hoping it's somewhere I can find happiness. I feel like I'm broke down on the highway of life and events are speeding by ignoring my very existence.

7) Who will you be with when 2005 ends?

Hopefully with my Italian brother Ted, but we'll see.

8) Did you keep your New Years Resolution of 2005?

I resolved to kick Dialysis' ass and make it my bitch. I still have 3 weeks left, so there's still time.

9) Do you have a New Years Resolution for 2006?

I resolve to hate myself less and love others more.

10) Did you fall in love in 2005?

No, but I stepped in lust a number of times.

11) If yes, with who?

I said "no" so you're obviously not listening to me.

12) If yes, do they know?

Hello? Bueller? See #10 and #11.

13) Are you still in love with them?

Yes, are you happy now?

14) You regret it?

Yes, the itching and burning is killing me.

15) Did you breakup with anyone in 2005?

No, but I did have my heart broken by someone I thought cared for me.

16) Did you make any new friends in 2005?

Yes, and for some reason they're all women. Maybe I'm compensating for not having a girlfriend.

17) Who are your favorite new friends?

I don't play favorites.

18) What was your favorite month of 2005?

July ruled. I took my first week long vacation in forever and a day. I spent the first 3 days in Tucson with my sister, her husband and my nephew Nakai. I had a fantastic time. When I returned, I invited Ted up to my place and we ate pizza, laid by the pool and played frisbee. I came back to work six shades darker and a lot less stressed.

It took two days for that feeling to evaporate. I hate this place sometimes.

19) Did you travel outside of the US in 2005?

No, and I didn't really travel inside the US much either. Dialysis does that to a guy.

20) How many different states did you travel to in 2005?

Just one, Arizona. It was 115 but surprisingly bearable.

21) Did you lose anybody close to you in 2005?

One of my co-workers committed suicide earlier this year, but we weren't close. It's still pretty eerie when you're used to working with someone and suddenly fate takes them away.

22) Did you miss anybody in the past year?

I missed my family very much.

23) What was your favorite movie that you saw in 2005?

I watch a lot of movies at Dialysis which is good, because it makes the time go by quicker, but it's also poor because I don't remember a lot of what I saw. I do remember enjoying "The Aviator" a helluva lot. I love Scorsese films and period films so add that together and I was really swept away by the production value and cast portrayals.

24) What was your favorite song from 2005?

"Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day.

25) What was your favorite record from 2005?

I finished the year with the "Richard Pryor: Anthology." Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawrence and Dave Chapelle found their voice by mimicing Pryor in their youth. More than a comedian, he was an entertaining and insightful social commentator.

26) Did you drink a lot of alchohol in 2005?

I haven't had a drop of alcohol since I started Dialysis back in May of 2004. If I'm with friends on New Years Eve I'll probably have a drink or two. I don't like to drink too much because I tend to wander off.

27) Did you do a lot of drugs in 2005?

For a good six months I had a terrible Vicodin dependency just to get through a Dialysis treatment. The pain was so unbearable I had to medicate myself just to endure. It almost cost me my job and my sanity.

28) How many people did you sleep with in 2005?

Low Self Esteem + Painful Dialysis Treatments = Only Nutty People Will Sleep With You.

Does that answer your question? I hope so because that's all you're getting.

29) Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?

In one of my Vicodin hazes, I threatened to burn down the rock station across the hall because they were playing their music too frickin' loud. If I could go back in time and confront Vicodin Stacy I'd punch him square in the jaw.

30) What was the worst lie someone told you in 2005?

People tell lies every day in radio. That's what makes it interesting. And hellish.

31) Did you treat somebody badly in 2005?

Yes. The guilt will haunt me until the end of my days.

32) Did somebody treat you badly in 2005?

Yes, but the individual is a souless, dim-witted bastard so I've learned to let it go.

33) How much money did you spend in 2005?

All of it.

34) What was your proudest moment of 2005?

Making amends to people I felt I had wronged. I admitted my mistakes and tried to start anew.

35) What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005?

While holding my needle sites after a rather painful Dialysis treatment, I was watching South Park and pretty much blitzed on Vicodin. I didn't realize I wasn't holding the gauze tightly enough. I felt something wet on my leg. It turned out to be my blood, a pool of it running down the seat of the chair and completely drowning my jeans. The tech's said they'd seen worse, but I think they just said that to make me feel better.

36) If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 and change it, what would it be?

I'd take January thru May and completely erase it from human existence if I could.

37) What are your plans for 2006?

Stay healthy. Build confidence. Forgive myself. Adore neckish women.

Not necessarily in that order.


  1. I love this post. Someday soon when I'm not short on time and devoting what little I have to finding a place to relocate to I'm going to answer those questions on my blog...

    And for the record, at least you only spaced out holding your sites once and with a valid excuse. There are many people who would do it regularly if we let them. Mmhmm. And they have no excuse at all...

  2. What are Herbie and Lester getting you for Christmas this year?