Friday, February 24, 2006

I Can't Do This Anymore

I can't wander into work delirious from the painful trauma of Dialysis to be told by a coworker, "I wish you'd cover up your bandages, they're gross."

I can't ask out a woman anymore and have her be mortified when I bring up my condition.

I can't get caught lying on the floor of the studio and risk the rumormongering that I'm "lying down on the job."

I can't stop the blackouts.

I can't sleep.

I can't remember the last time I enjoyed myself.

I can't fathom my last kiss.

I can't stand being alone.

I can't continue to kill myself for my job when no one seems to care.

I can't look myself in the mirror without wanting to shatter my reflection.

I can't afford all my bills.

I can't look to the future because it depresses me.

I can't endure the nightmares.

I can't laugh anymore.

I can't keep losing my hair to Dialysis.

I can't continue missing out on Life.


  1. Stacy, I'm thinking of you and praying for you.

  2. I'm thinking of you as well. You'll make it through.

  3. Every one of you rules in the Great Book of Stacy.

  4. Incoming-adoration! It cannot be refused! (L)(L)(L)

    "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."