Friday, November 24, 2006

Kidney's Last Stand

One thing you should know about me is that I'm a native Northern Californian. Born and raised. And I'm very proud of that fact for whatever reason.

So it should come as no surprise that when the thermometor drops below 50 degrees Farenheit my body loses all ability to function properly.

Case in point, this morning in my shabby overpriced apartment.

I stumble out of bed and attempt to mine the eye nuggets out of my peepers and stagger to the bathroom.

Greeting me, as usual, is Cinder the Moody cat's feces. What's different about this morning is that they were steaming.

I scoop them out and continue on with my first business of the morning. A long-fine -all-American-better-watch-where-you're-standing forty-seven second urination.

Before my urine can expel from my body and arc it's way into it's new home, it freezes.

Not kidding. Not even joshing. It freezes there creating a lovely yellowish green (or greenish yellow if you prefer) Arc of Urine.

I paused for a moment and admired the flourescent light from above causing a prism of light to land on my nearby bath towel.

It was so beautiful I almost cried. Quite a spectacle to behold.

I have contacted the local art museum to display my personal fluid sculpture for all to ponder.

I call it Kidney's Last Stand.

Thank you and good night.

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