Sunday, January 07, 2007


The alarm jolted me awake and my upper body darted up. Just as quickly, I was down again, like a boxer drunk with exhaustion.

I managed to roll out of bed and commence my morning urination. My personal spite against kidney failure, the ability to piss about twice a day.

I slumped over to the mirror and as my head bowed down to accept a face full of water, my brain caught up to the image it had received in the reflection.

It wasn't me.

I glanced up again and any hint of fatigue was washed away.

He was a tall Adonis, tanned and toned. Movie star teeth and coifed hair. But his face was familiar.

"Good morning Stacy, rise and shine."

It took me a few moments to realize my mouth was agape.

"Yes, it's you, but not you. Freaky huh?"

He laughed to himself and it was mine, quick, rapid fire and highly irritating.

I immediately thought I was on one of those wacky camera shows, but it was 8:30 in the morning. And who would want to film in my dumpy apartment?

"Remember that episode of Star Trek where you knew Spock was opposite because he was wearing a goatee?"


"This is nothing like that."

More laughter. I didn't realize how grating I was.

"I'm going back to bed. You're probably an undigested meatball, or that last helping of noodles I shouldn't have had."

"Don't you know who I am Stacy?"

"Well, you look like me and sound like me. You're the healthy twin my parents never told me about."

"Not bad, you're close. I'm Stacey With An E."

"That's very funny."

Mirror Stacey opened the medicine cabinet behind the mirror so his view was blocked for a moment. I thought of running and calling 911, believing the pressures of my Life had gotten the best of me.

He started using some very expensive looking cleanser as he spoke, further irritating me.

"A wise man once said that for every being in the universe, there is a total and complete opposite. Yin and Yang. You get where I'm coming from?"

I mused upon what he said as he started to tweeze his nose hairs. I also remembered that I hadn't tailored mine in some time.

"So what you're saying is, without me you wouldn't exist?"

"No, it's more than that." He had proceeded to work on his ear hair.

"I'm the potential of what you could have been. Without any fathom of your illness, you would have been 6'2". Your hair wouldn't have been falling out and you wouldn't be fatigued. Man, the life you could have had. It's something huh?"

Mirror Stacey began to lather up as the door behind him began to open. A cute little brunette walked in and leaned on his shoulders.

"Good morning baby." She kissed his cheek and proceeded to remove her robe and enter the shower.

"You know, I've got to thank you though Stace. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be where I am today."

His creepy smile nauseated me. My anger began to boil.

With all my energy I turned and grabbed the steel hamper behind me. I thrust it at the mirror and it shattered completely.

I could still hear the water running while he was shaving. And then my grating laugh faded into the wall.

The glass, much like my Life, lay lifeless on the floor. I just stood there, motionless, still unable to comprehend what had just occured.

I sighed heavily and leaned down to pick up one of the shattered pieces. I grabbed another. They seemed to fit together.

As I turned to throw them into the garbage, the larger sliver sliced open my finger.

I didn't even react to the pain.

And then a thought, innocent at first, and then more vile, began to form.

It involved a piece of the mirror. And my wrists.

Alone and helpless, I shuddered.

I finally had the courage to rise from the floor. I grabbed the broom from the hall closet and began to sweep.

I ended up keeping the piece with my blood on it. It's in my dresser drawer next to my bed inside a used Altoids box.

A sharp reminder of the shattered Life I never had.