Tuesday, November 13, 2007

I'm a Frickin' Genius

I came up with a frickin' genius idea today.

But like most of my ideas, nobody wants them.

So I'll share this one with you in hopes that someone out there will believe in what I'm saying and together, through American ingenuity and know-how, we can cure what ails the planet.

I have a simple way to curb obesity AND solve the world's insatiable dependence on oil.

What's that you say?? You can cure BOTH...at the same time?!

Gosh man...you're mad?!

Certainly not.

I'm tooling around the TV after Dialysis. I wish I could be more productive, but I listen to my body more often than not now and after Dialysis it screams, "Enough."

My attention was grabbed by one of my favorite cartoons of my youth. "The Flintstones." Fred was in trouble with Wilma again and he and Barney needed to get something special for her.

So they both hop into the Flint Mobile, Fred starts moving his feet really quickly and zippity skippity, they're on their way.

This giant light bulb (not one of those new energy efficient pigtail looking ones) appears over my head, bobbles for a moment or two and then crashes down on my skull, illuminating me to the fact that I'm a frickin' genius.

You're right. I mentioned that earlier.

After three months of traveling to and from our daily jobs, soccer practice and trysts with that hot chick in marketing, every single person in this country would be slim and fit. The percentage of oil used in this nation would drop considerably and we would have no reason to fiddle around in the Middle East. Our air quality would improve and the ozone would repair itself. People would be sick less often and the burden on our medical system would be alleviated.

So wait. I'm a super genius. That's multiple facets of our society that could be cured.

All because of Fred Flintstone and his boney scabby feet.

And if we delineate everything down to its lowest common denominator, the cavemen had all the answers.

So many cheers and thanks to Fred, Barney and especially Betty.

She's smokin' hot.