Wednesday, January 23, 2008

4 Humans = 1 Stacy

It takes a ridiculously massive amount of wasted time to plan a vacation.

Don't get me wrong, I love my job. And I'm glad I have a number of different tasks every day and week instead of the same mind-numbing, sperm reducing, brain farting tasks every stinkin' day.

But to plan a vacation is a bewildering process filled with numerous e-mails, frequent conversations and a nagging feeling of dread that I'm going to forget something highly important and the station will start cursing involuntarily at the listeners.

That was quite a long sentence, filled with too many adjectives and not enough dangling participles.

So now I will present to you all the individuals that will convalesce into a complete yet highly diluted Stacy Without An E:

1. Old Program Director to take care of merging music logs.
2. Weekend Part-Timer to handle my afternoon drive shift.
3. Morning Personality to fill in on my weekend shift.
4. Midday personality asked to do all the other tasks too boring and annoying to list here.

Logic would dictate (ooh, I quoted Spock) that I would be paid at least as much as two employees. Or at the very least one and five eighths.

This frustrates me to no end and I would take action and do something about it but most days I just want to lie in bed, stare at the ceiling and ask God to make me feel just a little bit better so I can stand for more than thirty minutes without getting dizzy or blacking out.

But some days it feels like that day is just a figment of a fleeting thought I once had in an earlier and more potent version of myself.

May the days of lyin' and dozes be my savior.

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