Friday, January 11, 2008

The Beard of Destiny

The Beard of Destiny begins its reign of terror upon Stacy's Face.

It actually began its reign on January 1st, but don't say that too loudly because the Beard of Destiny will get upset and cause ingrown hairs to invade Stacy's Face.

The Beard of Destiny was created merely by happenstance because Stacy's Face hates shaving.

No, lets rephrase that. Stacy's Face LOATHES shaving.

Much better. SAT word. Thirty points on the verbal for me.

Shaving ranks above guys who grunt at the gym and below projectile vomiting.

The Beard of Destiny will grow in strength directly in proportion to how well Stacy's Life progresses in 2008.

You see, simply put, nothing really good happened in Stacy's Life in 2007. As Stacy looks back upon his life, he will file the year 2007 under, "Complete Waste of Time" with a subsection of "Dialysis Continue Unabated" and near "Stacy Needs a Make Out Session Soon."

The Beard of Destiny actually has a rather delineated destiny of it's own.

Something good happens in 2008, the beard will be destroyed. If not, the Beard of Destiny will continue to grow in density until people on the street start handing Stacy free change.

Actually, that would be kinda cool. Stacy does like gum. Free change can be used for goods and services. Gum costs a little bit of free change.

You're right. The Beard of Destiny is starting to make Stacy crazy. Mainly because of the itching.

Now you may be wondering, what would qualify as Good in the Life of Stacy?

I will share that with you now...

... a good night kiss.

... a raise in salary.

... a really good steak.

... a kind gesture from one of the patients at Dialysis.

... a kind gesture from no one in particular.

... free Sour Dough toast.

... a tax refund.

... a REAL vacation.

... a good warm hug from someone who cares about me.

There's probably more but the Beard of Destiny is getting feisty. As you can see from the above, Stacy's Life asks for Very Little because Very Little is all Stacy's Life needs.

The Beard of Destiny thanks you for reading.


  1. Maybe I missed it ... maybe I haven't been keeping up with your adventures enough (shame on me).

    What did you do to Dialysis to encourage him to invite you over six times a week? Did you switch to overnights, or was nine hours not enough fun time in the plastic chair? Just curious ...

  2. Hey Nathan,

    It was becoming more and more difficult to get through the off days, especially Saturday through Monday. My work was suffering and I had trouble keeping my schedule.

    I do push myself a, gym, hiking, bicycling and the like. So I decided to trick Dialysis and attend more sessions six days a week at two hour sessions in order to defeat him.

    So far, so good. If your clinic offers it, I would give it a try. At my treatment center not one patient has changed back to the old schedule.

    Thanks for asking.