Friday, January 04, 2008

Dialysis' Dirty Little Secret

I must speak now because I believe you deserve to know the truth.

The Dirty Little Secret about Dialysis.

Once you're hooked up to the machine and your blood is swimming through the filter, before your treatment is finished, something is taken from you.

But it's so minuscule you don't even know it's gone.

Since the early 1980's, a little known branch of the government has been stealing DNA from Dialysis patients in an effort to create an army of clones in an effort to supplement our already dwindling military ranks.

Scientists with bleached while coats and spectacles dangling at the end of their noses pry into that tiny chunk of DNA you're not missing, repair whatever ails you, makes some minor tweaks to improve said specimen and then foster a new you.

But here's where they've made a vital error.

Once the Super Stacy has been fully developed, all he'll want to do is watch Winona Ryder movies, eat anchovy pizza and laugh at his own jokes.

That's right. Make laugh, not war.

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