Sunday, January 06, 2008

Running on Empty

I wish there were some sort of User's Manual when it came to one's life.

A problem arises and you turn to the Glossary to find out what page the answer is on.

That's right. Just like grade school.

Presently, I would turn to "Lost and Confused."

You're right. They're probably on separate pages. I didn't think of that. You're pretty bright for someone who's on the internet.

I'll do my best to explain how I'm feeling.

Every day is simply the same. Arise for work, perform job-type duties, go to Dialysis, return and read before bedtime. Recycle and repeat the next day.

I'm spinning my wheels on the sands of time and all it's doing is creating an irritating mess.

Which is ironically enough, what I've become.

Every month my non-Medicare insurance sends me a statement detailing how much every minute moment of my treatment costs. I usually just file them away for future reference, but I allowed one to grab my attention for a few moments.

All of a sudden I had an epiphany: it costs too much to keep me alive.

And what does society garner from my continued existence on this planet?

I quickly realized the answer and it had an unusual calming effect.

Absolutely nothing.

Which is exactly what my life has become.

No comments:

Post a Comment