Sunday, March 09, 2008

A Grand Day Out With the Greek Goddess

If you had asked me after the first year of experiencing the force of nature that is the Greek Goddess if we'd still be friends today, I would have said you need massive amounts of emotional medication taken orally as well as intravenously.

It was a rough first year to say the least.

I was attracted to her instantly. A cute bob of intense red hair adorning a petite little figure. Full luscious lips and dark, intense eyes. I was hooked instantly and she knew it.

We tried the dating thing for a while but there are certain members of the opposite sex who you know it will never work romantically with. But you enjoy each other's company, so you march on to the beat of friendship.

Or at least you try.

There were long periods in that first eighteen months where I didn't hear from her. But that was mostly because of her health. Dialysis has been much less kind to her than to me.

Somehow, five years later, we're still friends.

There are very few people on this planet that I would trust with my entire existence, but the Greek Goddess is just one of those people.

And I'm a better man for it.

Since we're on opposite Dialysis schedules, I agreed to drive to her home in the East Bay and go on a little adventure.

As much adventure as two people on Dialysis can attempt.

We began our journey at the wonderfully entertaining Longs Drugs. They provide prescription drugs and lots and lots of worthless crap.

Although one man's crap is another's gold since there were a massive amount of people wandering the aisles with blank looks on their faces. Maybe it's because of the Longs Drugs, but I could be wrong. That Longs guy is probably hopped up on something most of the time.

From there is was off to the Olive Garden with an arm full of photos from my college days. I decided not to venture into their history by my lonesome, instead wishing to share it off the top of my head with the Greek Goddess.

That was a massive mistake.

I had forgotten that there would be a number of photos of past girlfriends whose relationship with me didn't end well. I blame myself entirely.

As a member of the male species in your early 20's, unless you're lucky, you're guided by dumb luck and testosterone.

I had to explain Emilie and Elizabeth and that blond girl in high school who wouldn't go to the prom with me.

These are not really stories from my past I really wanted to wade my psyche into, but one thing you should know about the Greek Goddess: if she wants to know something she'll pester you until she's satisfied with the answer.

And as I mentioned before, she's a force of nature that will make you pay dearly if you don't give into her whims. I have many stories of my own personal emotional destruction which I would rather not disclose here.

Needless to say, every question was answered to the best of my recollection.

Usually when we go out to eat, I feel bad for the Greek Goddess. She's usually very nauseous and eats very little. Today, for whatever reason, was my turn. I just ordered a salad while she selected numerous entrees to take home to her family.

The food was delicious, the wait staff was passable and a couple hours later I was hungry, so I probably should have tried to eat something because everything smelled so good.

Once we departed the pseudo Italian Olive Garden the Greek Goddess mentioned she needed to go to Michael's, a national chain craft store.

In my head I was sighing heavily. Upon my demise, if you'd really like to send me to hell, place me square in the middle of a craft store and that will be punishment enough.

But I didn't say a word because I know she really wanted to go. The Greek Goddess is quite the creative force to be reckoned with and she is writing and binding a children's book for one of her friends.

I know. Pretty amazing. I was impressed too and immediately stole the idea for my nephew. I told her so I don't think she minded.

One thing about me that most people are surprised by is my patience. Years of waiting for pompous doctors to eventually get to my appointment will do that to a guy.

I did my best to while away the time finding things to play with. On numerous occasions when she wasn't looking I was taking letters and spelling things out. My ultimate masterpiece was "Stacy Fart."

I giggled like a nine year old while the Greek Goddess rolled her eyes. I did eventually get her to smile so my dopiness actually had a purpose, which made me happy in return.

We eventually made our way out of the store and what happened next entertains me to no end.

Keep in mind, we just ate a couple of hours ago. But the Greek Goddess insists we do this before I take her home.

We have to travel through the all-American, one on every corner of the country, local McDonalds.

I can't explain it but that girl does love her Mickey D's. Large fries and a couple chocolate chip cookies.

As we ate in the very same parking spot we always do, I came to a realization I kept to myself.

"I'm pretty happy right now."

And that's how you know you're in the right company. If you can pass the time without watching the time, you're in the exact spot you're supposed to be.

Every once and a great while I come upon a moment that Dialysis has given me. If it weren't for my kidney trouble, the Greek Goddess would have never been a part of my life.

I would spend every Sunday with her if I could, but I have to be careful. I don't wish to make the mistake of falling for her again, because the first time around I really had my heart broken.

I've told the Greek Goddess I'll always have a crush on her. When I shared this with her, she seemed rather pleased.

I believe it's because she knows she has complete and utter power over me.

And she wouldn't have it any other way.