Wednesday, July 16, 2008


After four years of rigorous, painful and humiliating Dialysis, um, I don't know, probably a good time to do something nice for yourself.

A perfectly grilled steak would be fantastic.

A naked romp with that new brunette in sales would be enticing.

For those who are experienced in my sarcastic ways, a good kick in the ass would probably work too.

But those are momentarily pleasures that would not do. I needed something that would scream to the world, "God keeps trying to kill me and I keep coming back for more."

Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to introduce...Rita.
It's as though a scooter and a motorcycle had an adorable redheaded child. If you haven't realized yet, she is named after the redheaded bombshell Rita Hayworth who could stop traffic with just a simply flip of the hair.

She is an Aprilia Scarabeo 100 and I purchased her at a little shop in downtown Santa Rosa, Revolution Moto (yes, that's a free plug, but they've been exceptionally helpful and the owner's wife is adorable)

For those of you wondering about my safety (all two of you) I spent the first two days of my recent vacation taking the Santa Rosa Motorcycle Training Course.

In the city I get around twenty miles to the gallon. I must admit she is a great highway vehicle, nearly reaching thirty-two miles on a gallon.

Lately she's been chilling in the garage.

Let me share the math and it will all make sense.

In the month of June I filled up three times, which would have normally cost me $202.50 at a per gallon price of around $4.50 here in Northern California.

I buy premium for Rita, so the total bill for June was $15.

$202.50 - $15 = $187 in savings.

Because it's summer time, it looks like this month I'll need to fill up at least four times.

$4.50 x 60 gallons of fuel (4 truck tanks full) = $270

$5 x 4 gallons = $20

$270 - $20 = $250 in savings.

I'm reaching anywhere between 75 and 90 miles a gallon on Rita. And lest you think she holds up traffic, she can reach a top speed of 62 mpg.

3) Chicks Dig Rita

I was cruising to my favorite taqueria to have the Stacy Usual: vegetarian burrito with extra sour cream and as I'm about to get back on the bike this incredibly fit woman starts asking me about Rita. She was dressed to the hilt in perfect form fitting biker gear. The conversation wouldn't end so I asked her is she'd like some company for lunch.

I'd tell your more, but let's see where the story goes next week.

I'm about to reach my 600th mile on Rita, which means it will be time for her maintenance checkup. They recommend you don't go full throttle until after 600 miles. I have to admit she's gotten away from me a few times, because once I get past 30mph in acceleration it's just a couple clicks on the accelerator to sixty.

Don't tell Rita this, but the only problem I see is I'll want more power.

And a bigger bike.