Friday, August 15, 2008

To Angelic Blonde Babe @ Dialysis

My God you're beautiful.

I want you to know that in my wildest dreams I would never be able to say this while staring directly into those beautifully bright hazel eyes of yours, but I must compose it or risk further and continual psychological trauma due to your ignorance of my adoration.

Everyone within earshot of my annoying comments knows I despise every aspect of Dialysis. It is barbaric, humiliating and downright detrimental to a normal life.

But on Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings at roughly 6:15 the best part of my day comes to fruition.

You're usually three to four chairs away and I don't in any way want to make you feel self-conscious.

So in the most subtle way I know possible, I steal a glance three days a week. They are momentary and no where near as long as I desire, but they are burned into my memory for another forty-eight hours.

Did I mention how beautiful I think you are?

Short highlighted blonde hair cascading over milky skin adorned with full, luscious lips and pools of hazel eyes.

Occasionally our chairs are lined up perfectly along the windowed wall and I'm afforded a bonus view.

Every so often you realize you're being watched and catch me in the act.

For a moment my eyes dart away, embarrassed by being caught. But that slowly slips away leaving nothing but an internal knowing smile. There IS a ray of appreciation in this otherwise dreary place and it's coming from me.

We spoke on your first treatment day as one of the nurses introduced us. Our conversation was all about Dialysis, but I was instantly hooked. Since then, I tried to say hi every time I passed, but you usually placed your hand over your face so you wouldn't have to deal with that Creepy Stacy Guy.

I understand completely. Who wants to be flirted with in this God forsaken place?

You also did speak to me one night after treatment, acknowledging how much you liked my bike.

In my Stacy Fantasy World (rated PG-13) I'd ask if you'd like to go for a ride and you'd say yes. We'd ride off to Adel's downtown and have a pleasant meal and get to know one another.

After that, we'd be inseparable.

But that is never to be.

So until you receive a transplant and are released from this hellish purgatory, I promise to be as subtle as possible with my glances and appreciate your from afar.

I was born Girl Crazy and you just happen to be my latest infatuation.

I know. Like Dialysis wasn't bad enough.

Good night Angelic Blonde Babe, wherever you are.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

What I've Learned From My Parents After Forty Years of Marriage

On Monday, August 18th my parents will celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. Knowing them, since their children aren't in the vicinity, they will probably spend as little money as possible on themselves and go to bed early after a quick kiss goodnight.

But after baring witness to their successful forty year union, I would like to share what I have learned about marriage compliments of their example:

--- Public displays of affection are nothing be afraid of or ashamed of.

--- A shared sense of humor can help you survive any hurdles life throws at you.

--- Saying "I love you" should never get old.

--- Good marriages survive regardless of how ugly the last argument was.

--- Never forget why you married in the first place.

Every since I was a young kid, I knew one day I wanted to have what my parents created: a good marriage filled with love and laughter. Although I've reached near the edge of the shallow pool of middle age, I know one day I still want to be married.

I tried endlessly to get my sister to join me in surprising them at their secluded ranch in Oregon, but to no avail.

Sometimes the possibility of happiness is all you can hope for.

My backup plan was to buy what I can only refer to as a "thing" since that's all it would have been. If I've learned anything over my travels it's that "things" don't make people happy.

Especially not my parents.

In fact, they cause them to suffer a boatload of furious.

I bought my Mom flowers for Mothers Day for the first time in years.

I received a talking to that made me revert to ten year old Stacy being scolded for breaking some other "thing" that would cost too much to replace.

So to my Mother and Father, who I love and miss dearly, and whose devotion to one another is something to be honored and cherished in an age where marriage has been twisted and torn by those with political agendas too confusing to detail, I thank you for setting an example that I envy to this day.

Happy 40th Anniversary.

P.S...And thanks for never pressuring me to get married.