Saturday, January 10, 2009

Life: The Sufferers Version

When suffering from a major illness like kidney disease (or as I like to call it, Life Crusher 3000) you inadvertently become an observer of the human race.

Most people I don't know illicit two reactions: annoyance (a majority of the time) and amusement (yeah, no one's noticing as you dig into your butt for ten minutes)

But those of us bathed in the Art of Suffering have observed something about all or you Normal Healthy People (or "Norms" as I like to call them) that you'll never comprehend.

Your life is slightly out of focus.

As you rush off to work ten minutes late, you fail to take in the plethora of leaves coating your driveway in hues of bright winter colors.

You swallow a huge meal and guzzle down a quart of diet soda at lunch giving no thought to the fact that you're blessed to have an appetite.

Weekends are not complete unless you wander aimlessly through the strip mall to collect items simply because your neighbor acquired them first.

Those of us in the Suffering Club do no such thing.

More times than we wish to admit, we're biding our time in a hospital bed or clinic chair waiting for treatment to cease for the day.

The Clan of Suffering may not move as fast as you like, or act as quickly as you suggest, but we have one advantage you will never understand.

We're entirely focused.

Moments of life that we used to take for granted, we enjoy even more now.

Holding down a BLT makes its flavor that much more intense.

Feeling the cool breeze on our skin as we're upright for more than an hour is heavenly.

Traveling more than an hour away whenever we like, a treasure.

Watching you race through life without even taking a breath, that makes us sad.

Because you'll never truly live until you become one of us.

We're few. We're proud. And we suffer every single day.

We hold the True Meaning of Life close to our soul and cherish it every day.

Mock us. Curse us. Call us names.

Until you're truly one of us, none of the above will ever make sense.


  1. Very well written. I am not at the point in my kidney disease that you are at....but I can relate and at times I suppose I need that reminder. Thanks.

  2. We seem to have a lot in common, other then the negative dialysis storys...
    I do an airshift at a local radio station.
    I have a Honda 250 Reflex scooter.
    I am on dialysis, let's see, for 35 years now.
    Keep smiling about it all, it helps.