Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Free Floating Hostility: 2009 Edition

There's a bunch of individuals who I'm really fucking tired of and they're being called out right here, right now before they fucking abuse you too.

--- I'm tired of stereotypical guys in line at the Taco Bell who have to comment sexually on every woman that passes by then proceed to stick their tongues out at their equally neanderthal companion and make those ridiculous hang loose gestures that you fuckers do.

Treat women with a little respect and you might be surprised how little use you have for porn.

--- I'm tired of old guys who buy one green pepper and then tell their life story to the cashier when there's fourteen people in line waiting to get back to work. I'm sorry you're old and alone but you're holding up the economy. Obama and his goons can't do it all by themselves.

--- I'm tired of women who take their little spawn to the park and then proceed to spend the entire time yakking on their cell phone ignoring the little fuck while he proceeds to feel up every little girl in the nearby vicinity.

I predict that in ten years the last thing he hears before he goes to jail is, "Hello, I'm Chris Hanson."

--- I'm tired of people who assume I get a free pass from being fired because I have kidney disease. I can be fired just as easily as your incredibly huge hallway blocking ass can. Treating me discourteous because you think I have it easy it disgusting. Keep sloshing down that giant bag of Lay's Potato Chips for breakfast like you do every morning and you'll be in the chair next to me wondering how I've endured five years of this demoralizing crap.

--- I'm tired of guests at Dialysis. The fact that you thought it was funny when you bent down to pick up that fast food wrapper and your massively gigantic ass bumped my machine speaks volumes to my belief that boiling in oil should be a common penalty for being a fucktard in today's society.

Are you still going to think its funny when I'm next to you on the street corner and I bend over and throw you into traffic? I thought not.

--- I'm tired of dealing with patients who don't believe in respecting others with manageable hygiene. I get called out a lot on this because people think I'm attacking old people. Lets get the facts straight here: I'm on the night shift, where everyone has a day job. There are no old people gizmo.

Taking off your shoes to allow your gout to breathe, disgusting. Smelling of three day old feces, how dare you. Wearing some clothes that don't have vomit stains on them, simply common sense. Get your shit together (literally and figuratively) and have some respect for yourself and for others forced into your vicinity.

And yes, I am spraying Febreeze every ten minutes because of you fucknut extraordinaire.

--- I'm tired of patients abusing the handicapped parking. We have one of these behemoth patients who weights 225kg. That's nearly 500 pounds to you and me.

She supposedly uses a wheelchair because her legs can't support her weight.

Her whines are the same every treatment.

"I can't get out of my chair, I need help. I can't get on the scale, I need help. I can't get in the chair, I need help. I can't get out of the chair, I need help."

You get the idea.

I came in early on Saturday and arrived in the parking lot moments after she had left the clinic. She rolled herself to the side of this giant van, got up without a problem, lifted the wheelchair and placed it in said van and walked around to the driver side and had no problem getting in.

She did all of this while being parked right out front in handicapped parking.

This is really the fucking government's fault because they consider Dialysis patients as disabled.

What a fucking insult that is. And so is this ridiculous mound of goo.

--- I'm tired of hypocritical leaders. Excuse me Obama? Yeah, hi. Middle class working voter here. Some really top notch people you're inviting to run individual departments in your administration.

Tom Daschle didn't pay his taxes and accepted improper gifts. Nancy Killefer? More late taxes. Bill Richardson has been investigated for links between state contracts and political contributions. I don't want to turn this into an attack on one side of the aisle, but can't you find anyone to work for you that doesn't have a criminal background or is involved in some scandal?

You promised change and all you've been doing is offering jobs to people who are sniffing around your shoes. If this is the best you can do, I sense you may be referred to as George II in the not too distant future. Get out the shit shovel and clean your house before every ounce of good will you accepted last month dies gasping for air on the floor of the Oval Office.

For those of you who may have found the preceding horrifying, inappropriate and highly unnecessary, keep in mind its keeping me from punching each of these Emmy award winners in the gullet and yanking out their spleen.

It's a service I do for you, and for society as a whole, because I love my country.

I just don't love the nimrods in it.

Thank you and good night.