Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The Evildoers of Dialysis

If you're about to start Dialysis, there is one absolutely, positively, unbridaled fact that no one will tell you.

Not the nurses. Not your nephrologist.


No one in the administrative staff will step up and state this clearly and unequivocally.


I was certainly not informed. I wish I had been. I could have prepared more effectively.


You're going to be seated next to assholes. And douchebags. Doucheholes and assbags.

Think about all the people you meet in everyday life. What percentage do you believe fit into the above categories?


Monday, July 25, 2011

The Pain of Lidocaine

I am a wimp. A fool. A terrestrial being with nothing extra about him.

For what seems like an exponential lifetime, I have been a Dialysis patient.

There is no B.D. (before Dialysis) anymore. Its been too long. Too hard. Too infinite.

Childhood, college, the beginning of my career. They all seem like chapters from a book that I checked out from the library ages ago.

All the facets that melded those memories into one cohesive whole: happiness, joy, triumph; they're all just forgotten words now.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

In the Beginning

There was a rambunctious Sperm and a reclusive Ovum. The Sperm was charming and funny. The Ovum, quiet, yet intelligent. And a little wacky.

There were rivers of Sperm and islands of Ovum, but these two particular individuals felt their pairing was bathed in the bastion of Fate.

The Sperm felt comfortable and welcome in the warm embrace of this particular Ovum, there was no denying it.

At the moment the Ovum decided that no other Sperm would venture into her womb, something electrical happened that was quite unexpected.